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I don't know why, but yesterday I got this sudden urge to submit my stuff to Shadow Mountain. I spent five hours feverishly writing, revising, and re-revising cover letters and readying 3-chapter excerpts. I mailed them off at around noon, from my local post office, which is a beautiful victorian-era brick building with original glass in the windows. I nearly left my phone on the counter there, but I live in one of those towns where nobody would take it. Or if they did, they might check the name and run it by my house:)

I've had good things and difficult things happen to me in my lifetime. I've done OK. Gotten through things. Grieved, overcome, rejoiced, etc. Why is it, though, that my characters seem to bring out the most intense feelings? I feel like writing might be a bit of therapy for me. For instance, I adopted my two Ethiopian daughters two and a half years ago, and the story I was writing at the time turned into an adoption story.

One thing I've struggled with that has surprised me: there are challenges that come with having your dreams come true. Publishing a novel is hard work, not just before you submit it, not just going over proofs. It's the worry that comes with marketing it... asking people to look at your book and pass links on to others. I'm no good at being beholden to people, and I hate selling myself. But that is what you do if you want to sell your book.

Man, I have felt a little crazy lately. My book's supposedly going to press in mid February (though I can't even imagine one of my books going to press... it all feels a little unreal) and I've gone over a first proof. I'm sort of gravitating to other Mormon writers I think in part because I know I need support. I have never done this before. There are moments (brief, fleeting) where I even wonder if I really want this.

Oh, but I do. Not because I want to be "published" but because I want people to read my story and love it.

One thing that I have struggled with is how to approach other writers' writing. I go to critique group, and the point of critique group is to let the other writers know what you enjoyed and also what you feel could be improved in what they have read.

So what do you do when someone at critique group reads something that is objectionable, but not in the writing sense... it's objectionable in the sense that, in real life, if you were reading that book, you'd put it down after the first couple of pages because you are *morally* objecting to the subject matter.